suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
