Nicole vs. Life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize