this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
