Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we have pet lesbian snakes
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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