I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
