never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
