your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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