im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
