it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
