Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
