his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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