he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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