Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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