Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
