Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
