So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
