the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
