yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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