I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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