How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
