apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
