Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
