you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize