Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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