I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
