I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize