once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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