He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
