i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
