So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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