drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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