I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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