doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
