Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
PANTIES FOUND
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