Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
