whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My vagina is officially offended.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
