Screwed.edu
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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