I hate all girls vehemently.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my shit smells like andre
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize