EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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