We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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