your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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