I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
