There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
