And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize