'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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