I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
