Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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