We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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