it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
