I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
