Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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