I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
