Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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