the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
