So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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