Do you still have your period?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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