If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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