I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
