craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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