that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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