I am puke
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
