hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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