I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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