Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
