she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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