Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
