But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
