i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
